The Green One

Sex: Male

Occupation: Pigeon, Part-Time Asshole

Eye Color: Summer Ocean

Hobbies: Movies, Condescension

Notable Achievements: Sat on a Mall Santa's lap once

Attempts on Roy's Life: 7

Snapple Facts:
- Anatomically based on a kidney bean
- Flammable

The Blue One

Sex: It’s just feathers down there

Occupation: Pigeon, Part-Time Tennis Ball

Hobbies: Ignorance and gaming, largely ignorance though

Special Skills: Nothing, not even burrowing

THAC0: 12

Roy Bateman

Sex: Male

Age: 26

Conceptualized Murder, She Wrote in the early 80s with producers Richard Levinson and Willia- He's unemployed.

Hobbies: Games, movies, D&D, hot beverages, disillusion

Therapy Bill thus far: 20% of his father's net worth

At the tender age of six, Roy's father gave him a pair of baby pigeons that had fallen from a nest in the yard. It was an act of trust that was intended to teach the boy valuable lessons in responsibility and empathy.

It subsequently ruined his life.

Even Roy isn't 100% clear on when or where the birds first spoke to him, though he does claim it was during his Pokemon phase. So anywhere from 1996 to 2013. What he does remember is how hard they laughed at him when he asked if this meant he was special.

Since then he's bounced from therapist to therapist, many of whom have gone on to write award-winning books on the subject, none of whom helped Roy in the slightest. Naturally Roy has become somewhat jaded over the years, finding solace in escapist media and simply embracing his feathered friends.

Sir Rotherham

Sex: Male

Occupation: Pig, possible Harbinger of the End.

Name Origin: A pizza called The Rotherham that I ordered near on daily for a year. It has a lot of bacon on it.

Very Similar To: An egg on its side.

History: Sir Rotherham was originally bought off eBay by the birds as an extended Angry Birds metaphor. He has since been shot, eaten, and seemingly returned from the grave. Shit like this is why Roy has no friends.